Family Values tour '98

Nearing the end of the millennium, I had decided that I liked all things distorted. Although I liked music, it wasn’t an obsession yet. I did, however, have a new hobby... Skateboarding.

Skate culture was something I gravitated towards. I liked the freedom and the creativity of it. 100 skaters could do a kickflip but each one would look slightly different, there is a lot of self-expression within skateboarding and I love it. One of my mates at the time, Mark, was also into skating. Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater (the video game) had come out in ‘99 too so the big skateboarding boom was in full swing. As we were friends, I used to go to his place, which had a nice wide/flat driveway, and we’d skate till it was pitch black outside. We also connected over music.

One day at school he told me about this VHS he had bought. He went on to explain to me it was a video of a mini music festival with 5 bands on it. There were these cool backstage interviews and it was vulgar. One of the bands had breakdancers, one had dildos, girls were flashing the camera and it was rated R. This was a big deal as we were only 12. He suggested I stay at his house that night so I could see this video. After checking with mum the plan was good to go.

I’m not sure how he got this video. I’m pretty sure his mum bought it for him as she seemed to just buy him whatever he wanted (they were quite wealthy people) but whatever. We waited till his parents were in bed, as he knew he’d get in trouble for watching such a video. He grabbed the video, put it into the video player and chucked me the empty case.

Family Values fall tour ‘98.

Upon further reading, I found it featured

Korn

Rammstein

Ice Cube

Limp Bizkit

Orgy

“Good start...” I thought to myself. I knew 2 out of the 5 bands.

Back then there was no YouTube, so live footage of your favourite bands was hard to come by. You needed to buy a VHS/DVD to see how they were live. You could try and download videos off of Napster/Limewire but it’d take about 10 months (if you’re lucky). It’s probably why I have a big collection of live DVD’s.

There's a quick little intro, a montage if you will, of a few of the acts talking to the camera and random backstage shots. You then see a time-lapse of the stage being built with a massive red and white circus curtain blocking the punters view of the stage. It then cuts to behind the curtain.

“Have we landed in New Orleans?”

Blackout.

Fred Durst appears through the door of a U.F.O., red cap on of course...

“Are you ready baby?”

“Are you ready?”

“THEN GET THE FUCK UP!”

Limp Bizkit launches into Cambodia. At this point, they had only released ‘Three Dollar Bill Y’all’ so it was awesome to see and hear a new song. The only song of Limp Bizkit that I knew before this was their cover of George Michael’s ‘Faith’. I remember being blown away by their song ‘Counterfeit’. I was also mesmerised by Wes Borland. His face was painted white and wore a skeleton full-body costume. His hair was spiked and horrifically, he had blackout contact lens in. Every time they did a close up of his face it fucked with my head, I was repulsed but also thought it was the coolest thing ever.

Ice Cube was up next. I didn’t care much for rap at this point of my life, although this was the same year I was introduced to Wu-Tang Clan and Eminem that would change my mind about rap. I didn’t pay too much attention and we used to skip most of his set except for the opener ‘Check Yo Self’ and ‘Fuck Tha Police’. I quite liked those songs. There’s something about being a 12-year-old singing along to ‘Fuck Tha Police’ that makes you feel like a rebel, but in reality, you’re just kid who has done nothing remotely even close to being arrested. Many years later, once I had become a fan, I would see Ice Cube live and he was incredible.

Orgy then followed and was yet another band I didn’t connect with till a little later on in life. I wasn’t big on their looks, but their cover of the New Order song ‘Blue Monday’ and ‘Stitches’ were bangers. I remember thinking they were posers. They seemed like they were trying to act cool, while the other acts were cool. The singer was awkward, the drummer sucked (seriously watch the set, it’s an awful sounding kit), it wasn’t great. Now as a 32-year old I’m happy to say their album ‘Candyass’ is a fucking belter.

This is the point of the VHS where shit got real.

A German man, quite geeky looking is interviewed on screen. He states “If you really want to see brutality, just turn on TV in America. It is very evil and brutal.”

I was young so I didn’t understand what he was talking about, but it stuck with me.

It then hard cuts to a man standing on stage, single spotlight on him playing a keyboard while it slowly starts burning. The fire climbs the stand making its way to the actual keyboard. He’s playing a kind of drum ‘n’ bass vibey beat, getting the crowd to do a call and response with the synth note he plays.

The beat changes and a spotlight appears centre stage. A big brooding topless man stands upon a box and starts singing in German. As he sings he pulls his hair. He seems to be demanding you to follow his instructions, “If only I knew German” I thought...

The band kicks in with a flurry of strobe lights. The beat is a stomper, with a sing-a-long guitar riff. The bulky singer starts banging his thighs in time with his fists. It looks like he’s producing the sound of the snare he’s belting them that hard. The title appears in the corner...

Rammstein ‘Bück Dich’

These crazy German fucks were the wildest thing I had ever seen. Their songs were very minimalist but extremely effective. They’re essentially pop songs disguised as heavy industrial sex songs. The nerdy German who was interviewed earlier was the keyboardist. On stage, he looks more like a mad scientist than a nerd. Later on in this song, the singer Till Lindemann, drags our keyboard scientist, Christian Lorenz, with a dog lead to the centre of the stage. He sets him up on the box on all fours.

Till stands on the box behind Christian, all while he continues to sing the song. He then proceeds to put his hands in his pants and pull out a fake penis. The fake penis then starts “ejaculating” while he simulates anal sex behind the keyboardist!

I think we just figured out why this release is rated R...

Rammstein blew my tiny mind. They took their harsh industrial song concepts and visually brought them to life on stage. The other song they had on the tape was ‘Du Hast’. This was filled with crazy pyrotechnics, which helped exaggerate their mechanical sounds.

"What disturbs me the most is that the Americans are so conservative, they will not give us the freedom to do our show the way we would like it..."

- Christian Lorenz

Last, but certainly not least, was Korn.

As you may have read in a previous post, Korn were the kings of my musical world. I was excited to see how they would perform all the songs I adored and if they were any good live.

It only took the intro of their opener ‘Blind’ to find out the answer.

They were fucking brilliant.

There’s nothing unique to note about their performance, as they are a “go-on-stage-and-just-fucking-play” kind of band, but they don’t need to do anything more. They are full of energy for the whole set. The background of the stage was a huge jail-like cage, which was filled with fans. They were all going off in there for the whole set. Lucky bastards. A highlight (of sorts) was their performance of ‘All In The Family’ with Limp Bizkit. They kind of done a battle where each band did their verse. It was kind of cool, although it was a mess. They had every band on stage just jumping around and hitting random shit with drumsticks.

Once the video had finished I knew I had to get my hands on a copy. I knew I wasn’t going to able to buy it though so I was stuck. I remember a couple of months later I’d be looking through the metal section at Disco Records and Tapes. As I was flicking through the CDs, I saw the cover of the ‘Family Values ‘98’.

What the fuck? There’s a CD!?!?

I bought the CD on the spot, I didn’t even look at the back to see what was on it, as I assumed it was the same tracklisting. I discovered that, although it was the same artists, it was different tracks plus a bonus band...

Incubus.

This was how discovered incubus, a band that would become one of my all-time favourite bands.

‘Family Values ‘98’ was an explosion of musical discovery for me, much like attending a festival. Limp Bizkit and Rammstein became frequent listens over the next few years, Ice Cube helped me expand my taste to include rap and Incubus became an obsession that I have to this day. All from one VHS. Mark would also open the door to more artists for me to discover and was an integral person in moulding my early listening habits. I look back at those last years of primary school quite fondly and as I sit here typing this, I recall discovering a heap of artists in this period of my life, but those stories are for another time...

Extra bits!

• The Incubus song included on the CD version was ‘New Skin’. What a fucking great song that is. They also appear on the VHS. You can see members of the band on stage with all the other bands during Korn and Limp Bizkit playing ‘All In The Family’.

• Bück Dich translates to “Bend Over”. So... yeah. That’s what that song is about.

Want to watch it? Here’s a link to the video IN FULL! https://youtu.be/pUs_NKddWzU

Aaron Falland

These wounds won't seem to heal.

This pain is just too real.

There's just too much that time cannot erase...

My Immortal - Evanescence

Photo by Caleb - South Coast Arts. Instagram @southcoastarts

Warning. This blog is about suicide. If you or anyone you know needs help please call or reach out to:

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• Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800

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• Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467

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• ReachOut at au.reachout.com

• Care Leavers Australasia Network (CLAN) on 1800 008 774

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As mentioned in a previous blog, 2004 was a turbulent year for me. I guess the beginning of it started a little earlier in late ‘03. I had just got my first job as a cook (or chef as we would jokingly try to claim) at KFC. My two best mates worked there along with a few other good friends. It was awesome working with friends and we would make sure that any shifts we had together were fun-filled. We would secretly stab holes in cans of Pepsi Max, making them unsellable, so the manager would let us drink them. I remember closing at night the best. This would be more work as you had to clean all the cookers and what-not, but if you had mates there it would just turn into a game of making the other guys laugh, plus you got to keep all the leftover food that was cooked so we’d always try and sneak on few more zingers and crispy strips. All that said the managers were insane. I remember vividly working a shift with Steve, It was peak hour on a Thursday night. The manager walked out the back where we were prepping the chicken. We were both standing at the basin flipping the chicken through the flour, chatting away. He told us we were doing a great job and to keep up the good work as it’s getting hectic. He was pumped that the night was running smoothly. We barely had enough time to look at each other and smile when suddenly... BOOM! A packet of chips split us two and hit the wall in front of us. Before we could work out what was happening a plastic crate that the chicken gets delivered on is thrown from the front to out the back where the freezers were. Steve and I looked around confused to see the manager storming towards the back of the store swearing his head off and mumbling like a man who had lost his marbles. For the rest of the night, he was pissed and he’d take it out on whoever was in front of him, including us who were “doing a great job”. This kind of behaviour was pretty normal for a couple of the managers, that said we had fun most shifts. One of the kids who worked there was a boy named Aaron. Steve knew who he was as they went to the same high school, but I don’t think they were friends. I met Aaron for the first time on a shift. I remember him as being nice and pretty chilled, he was friendly, but not very talkative. We only had a handful of shifts together. We never became friends outside of work, but if we had a shift together we’d chat about music and what we were listening too. We had similar tastes and the chat helped the shift pass by. I recall going into work one day, it must’ve been a mid-week shift. I walked out the back to put my gear away. As I sat at the computer to clock in, the manager pulled me aside. “Have you heard about Aaron?” I shrugged. “Nope. What about him?” “Were you guys friends?” “Nah, just knew him from work. What’s up?” She took a breath. “He died over the weekend” I was shocked. “How?” She told me that they were waiting for that news to come in. Must have been a car accident I thought. That’s the only way someone young could die. I clocked in and began my shift. “Hey man, you hear about Aaron?” Asked one of the guys working the same shift. I nodded. “Yeah, It’s sad man..” “You hear how it happened?” I looked at him and shook my head “He killed himself.”

Fuck.

That’s all I could think of. What. The. Fuck.

“He hung himself”

...

Soon everyone was talking bout it. Towns like Mt. Gambier tend to spread news, whether its true or not, like a bushfire. There were rumours about what and how it happened which I won’t divulge in. It didn’t matter anyway, he was gone. Initially, it didn’t affect me too much, I was saddened by the news and felt for his family but he wasn’t a close friend. The funeral was announced and Steve decided he was going and asked if I was going to go. I checked my roster... I had a shift that started halfway through the funeral. The hierarchy at KFC decided that they’d close the store for the hour of the funeral so people could attend. So I decided I should go to show my support for the family and his friends. Steve organised a lift with one of his mates to take us there and they came and picked me up. On the way, the other guy driving had Evanescence’s album Fallen on the car stereo. They were massive back then. Steve was a fan and I didn’t mind them. Amy lee could belt out a tune, I just didn’t connect much with the music. I always thought they sounded like a pre-packaged, put together boy band. As far as I’m aware they weren’t, but they seemed to have just come from out of nowhere, fully polished. Their music was just so on the nose that it just irked me a little. That said I didn’t hate them and I’d always nod and hum along. I remember the mood in the car as being upbeat but awkward. We were trying to stay in a positive mood. None of us had been to a funeral with this kind of weight involved. We pulled up in the car park, took a deep breath and got out of the car... The first thing I realised was there were a lot of people there... a lot of teenagers. It seemed like most of Mt Gambier’s youth attended the funeral. I don’t remember too much of the ceremony to be honest. I do recall however seeing people I knew and trying to avoid eye contact with them, more so to not see them cry. It was hard. Being a teenage boy I kept my emotions in check, I kept my head down. I wasn’t afraid to cry, but I didn’t want to do it in public. They then played one of Aaron’s favourite songs... Bring Me To Life by Evanescence. The congregation then followed the coffin out of the chapel and into the burial grounds. They played another favourite song of his as they buried their son. Youth Of The Nation by P.O.D By this time the large gathering’s emotions had collectively risen to a breaking point and there was a flood of tears. I continued to hold it in, wiping away any tears before they ran down my cheek. We respectfully said our goodbyes and left.

I had a shift I had to go to...

We got in the car. It was dead quiet. The CD player kicked into life. Amy Lee’s soaring vocals filled the car. Angelic and poignant. Steve, sitting in the front passenger seat, smacked the CD player and turned it off. Hearing them play was the last thing any of us wanted to hear. We were all holding it in and that nearly sent us all over. The silence lasted back to my house. Once inside, my mum asked if I was ok. I told her I was. I had calmed down by that point. She made sure again if I was alright to go to work and I said I was, at least I thought I was. I jumped in the shower and I lost it. I didn’t know him well, I hardly knew him at all actually, but all the emotion came out. Seeing how his death affected his family and people I knew just floored me. I finished my shower, got into my uniform and went to work. Why the fuck KFC thought it would be fine to open for the day has got me fucked. Especially considering it was mainly teenagers who worked there. Everyone knew everyone in the store, and we all knew what had happened. Talk about not looking after your workers, hey? That shift was the quietest shifts I worked. It was almost peaceful. Everyone was polite to each other and just worked. There was no joking around. The manager was good that shift and didn’t push us, she just kept making sure we were all fine. I didn’t listen to Evanescence for many years after this, not if I could control the music anyway. Evanescence reminds me of that day and him. A kid I barely knew who made such an impact on my memory. I can’t explain why P.O.D got a pass, they’re a much worse band. I think it’s because of when the songs were played during the ceremony. Evanescence was played in the chapel and was the first point I remember when people (other than the family) started to let their emotions out. The fact we just so happened to have their album on in the car just drilled it into our collective memories. It’s hard to write this blog, as I'm trying to be as respectful as I can as I hardly knew him. I’m in no way a victim in this situation and I acknowledge that. His passing, however, did leave an impression on me so I felt compelled to write about it. When looking back at those years, this moment stands out as an impetus to the way I looked at the world. I mentioned our compilation CD called Execution Of Innocence in an earlier blog and how it was quite an apt name for the period of my life proceeding it. Part of our innocence went that day. The warm glow view we had of our world had its first real shadow cast on it. Our mortality became real, depression became real and the way our choices affect the people around us became very real, even those who you hardly knew. This, unfortunately, wasn’t the last time I would have to deal with this subject, as the turn of the year brought with it more shadows casting its darkness over my ever dimming world views.

Execution Of Innocence

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Execution Of Innocence playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4nkQ3yHegGH0zKqZAqLV9f?si=gjSjNE7GTWmHmU_M-GZ7Mg

This not the entire collection of songs as there were a few versions. This is what Steve and I can collectively remember being on some of the different versions.

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It’s 2002 and Mix CDs were all the rage. Friends were burning each other the newest albums or illegally downloading songs through their preferred pirate music downloading program (Limewire 4 lyfe) I think this year was the year I listened to every metal/punk/rock album released... or it at least seemed that way. Nothing was off the table and I gave everything a chance. I was in pursuit of discovering my musical taste. Since Steve and I went to different high schools, we had separate sets of friends. This meant we were both bringing each other new songs shown to us from our other friends through school. Depending on whose house we were at, the host would eagerly show the other what they’re currently listening too, in the hopes that the other would love the song as much as what he does. It got to a point where we both were trying to show each other so much new shit we needed a system, a way to show each other the best of the newest songs we were listening too, a chart like the Arias, updated periodically and most importantly it needed a cool as fuck name... We decided that we would keep our individual “favourite songs” list, update it when we discover new songs (or stopped liking a song as much) and every so often (like once a month) we’d put our top songs onto a CD. You could fit around 20 songs onto a CD, this was before people had CD players that could play MP3 cd’s, so it was a decent chunk of music. We just needed a name for our collection of songs... Execution of Innocence. Yeah, look we were young teenagers. Thinking about it now it’s quite an accurate description of what was happening in our lives at that time. First loves, parties, drinking, getting into trouble...anyway back to the music. I remember Steve writing out his list, 1 through to 20 odd, with all his songs in order, on a piece of ruled paper. I think I followed suit and made my list. It was serious stuff this! I’d play all the songs and depending on how much I loved them I’d scribble out the song and move it up or down on the list. I can’t remember who decided but it was decided we should try and make a cover for our compilation CD. We came to the agreement that we would draw the South Park version of the wrestler Undertaker.

Ok, this is all getting a bit embarrassing, but hey... In for a penny, in for a pound! I recall sitting on my bedroom floor opposite Steve drawing out our covers. I used to draw a lot back then so I found it a lot easier than Steve. He wasn’t confident in drawing at all and was self-conscious of how it would turn out. I remember being slightly taken aback as he is usually quite a confident fella. All though I’m sure we had shown each other our flaws before this moment, it’s one of the earliest that I can recall. It’s not very often for young teenage boys to show their flaws, especially to their friends. After some encouragement and some “tips” from me, he ended up doing a great job. Once completed we were ready to burn our CDs. I think we kept our lists private until the unveiling, but I can't be sure. I do however remember showing each other the albums with pure excitement. We’d sit and discuss the reasons we had chosen each song and why it was placed at that number. Sometimes the lyrics translated to something going on with our lives, others was because of a certain moment in a song and sometimes it was just because they were bangers. There was always a song or two on the other CD that you had never heard before. This all took place back in the Limewire days as I said, so sometimes you wouldn't get the song that the file you were downloading was named. I had tried to download My Plague by Slipknot and when I played it, it was a completely different song. It was a song we named Feel The Pain, as it was one of the main lyrics. We never, EVER found out who the band was or what the song was called! I remember him singing that one lyric, there was like a Jonathan Davis-Esque scat in the breakdown section, and that's all I can recall. It was a pretty rocking song sitting firmly in the nu-metal genre. If that sounds familiar to you, please let me know so I can investigate!

Note: Speaking to Steve about this blog, he recalls this slightly different. As he recalls, he based his Execution Of Innocence around the idea of picking his favourite bands "Enter Sandman". Essentially he picked all the top hits of each of his favourite bands as his first edition. I believe this to be correct as when he helped me create the playlist, he mainly recalled his first CD, which was all the hits. The songs I remember him & I picking were newer songs, so I believe my account is of the second editions of EOI. He also remembered the Jay & Silent Bob intro's which are also included in the playlist above! I’m not sure why Execution Of Innocence stands out in my mind, I barely remember the songs that featured on them. Looking back at it, it was a very kid-like thing to do, but it was fun. It made me analyse the music I listened to, to try and figure out what it was that made those songs resonate with me. It also may have something to do with the act of sharing that information with others. The way a song affects you may not affect another person the same way, and I loved hearing his reasons as much as I loved sharing them. Maybe subconsciously, Execution Of Innocence has played a role in me starting this blog. And maybe, just maybe we were fucking cool... ...Nah!