Guess who's back!

...Back again!

Simon's back,

Shave a hen!

- Eminem

Probably...

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It's been a hot minute since I last posted. Life got a bit hectic and unfortunately, I had to drop something. But I'm back and I have a new plan.

Nepenthe will continue, albeit with some changes. I enjoyed writing about music and how it's intertwined with my memories. It was cathartic and a good analysis of why I adore the music that I do. This will not change. I will continue to write these memories but not as frequent as what I once was.

From now on, i'll be splitting this blog into three categories...

Nepenthe.

Music/Band.

Life.

'Nepenthe' will be the OG blog that you are used to reading.

'Music/Band' will be writings about my band The Unset, the local music scene and the wider music industry. I have been the manager/booking agent for our band for some years. We have some wild and big ideas for what we want to achieve in 2021 with the band. I believe it'll be interesting to peek behind the curtain of how I/we do things regarding the way we implement our ideas and how a "local" band functions.

The third category is 'Life'.

I have a pretty hectic life.

I've become absorbed with journaling and I see this category as being somewhat a journal of my life, my personal goals and my philosophies about this crazy ride we are all on. To give you an idea of what i have going on at this moment in time...

I'm currently studying a Diploma of Building Design. I've been fascinated with architecture since high school. Last year I decided to bite the bullet and decided to study. I decided I wanted to have a career in something I was passionate about and this is the first major step towards shifting towards that career. I'm also the co-host of a music podcast called Altar of Noise, with my good friend Josh. This was started out of pure boredom during the lockdowns and has been quite an enjoyable experience. Much like the Nepenthe blog, it's pushed me to discuss my thoughts and ideas regarding music. We are going to continue this in 2021. I'm also the father of 3 crazy kids and partner to the most amazing woman. Trying to function to the high standard I hold myself, whilst trying to be the best father and partner I can be, leads me to live this frenetic life. I wouldn't change it for the world. I have a few personal goals that I also have set for myself for 2021. I'll be sharing those goals with you at some point also in an attempt to track my progress and hold myself accountable.

So as you can see, there will be some changes. These categories should make it easier for you to navigate what you'd like to read. I will be aiming to blog frequently, but only when it is necessary or when I have a story to share. Which as you may be able to tell by my chaotic life, should be pretty frequent!

Until then...

A presto puttane!

I’ll leave you with my list of 10 favourite albums of 2020. We done a special two part episode of this on my podcast Altar of Noise, where I discuss why I’ve chosen these albums. The other ten albums are in no particular order, and are some albums that just missed out.

1. Greg Puciato - Child Soldier: Creator of God

2. Vennart - In The Dead, Dead Wood

3. .clipping - Visions of Bodies Being Burned

4. Algiers - There Is No Year

5. Health - Disco4:: Part 1

6. Everything Everything - RE-ANIMATOR

7. Zeal & Ardor - Wake of a Nation (ep)

8. Loathe - I Let It in and It Took Everything

9. I LIKE TRAINS - KOMPROMAT

10. Dua Lipa - Future Nostalgia

The best of the rest...

Jessie Ware - What’s Your Pleasure?

Blu & Exile - Miles

Ulver - Flowers of Evil

Biffy Clyro - A Celebration of Endings

Palm Reader - Sleepless

Riz Ahmed - The Long Goodbye

Airbag - A Day at the Beach

The Ocean - Phanerozoic II: Mesozoic/Cenozoic

Pure Reason Revolution - Eupnea

Chromeo - Quarantine Casanova (EP)

Must be a better way, to say the things I feel...

“When I woke this morning I was king of the world

Longing to know if we had a boy or a girl

Yes I had a feeling as proud as any man

Could ever hope to be”

At the beginning of 2005, I had moved to Adelaide. I was living with my dad and his partner and I worked with him as a concreter. I have a unique relationship with my dad. He and my mum divorced when I was around 5, I don’t remember that time at all. I do remember seeing him frequently though, it wasn’t like he wasn’t in my life. Once we moved to Mt. Gambier, I saw him less (obviously). He did ring (not frequently, but often enough), so he was still in our lives. We’d stay with him in Adelaide on some school holidays or when we’d go back to visit family. We weren’t close when I moved there but it wasn’t awkward.

Dad is a quiet person. He’s not good at small talk... at all. He’s not rude and will chat if you strike up a conversation, he just won’t start the conversation. He’s a stereotypical old Italian of sorts. His love of soccer is only matched by his love of Elvis Presley. He has hundreds of old cassettes, most of it crap, but there are some goodies in there. Elvis, The Beatles, Little Richard, Dean Martin, Roy Orbison, he didn’t stray too far from the music of his adolescence.

Working with dad was alright. He is always pretty stressed at work, but having my cousin there was fun. We used to joke around and have fun while dad and his brother-in-law stressed each other out. There’s a rule at work regarding the radio.

He whoever gets it out chooses which station it goes on.

If I got it, I’d put it on Triple J. This being ‘05 when they played music I liked.

If my cousin Paul or dad’s Brother-in-law Jamie got it, they’d put it on Triple M. Not a bad choice.

However, if dad got it, it goes on Cruise FM. For those who have not heard of Cruise FM, the play music from the '50s through to the ’80s, though they very rarely go into the ’70s and '80s.

It was painful if dad got it. The songs aren’t from the good artists of those era’s (The Beatles, Beach Boys, Doors, Pink Floyd etc.), but of the bubblegum pop artists. Artists such as Herman’s Hermits, Johnny Tillotson & Little Eva (look them up and laugh). They also play so god damn many ballads. As a labourer, working your arse off, having a ballad blaring in the background is quite annoying. It’s also embarrassing. Dad was (and still is) a stickler for this rule, so my aim every morning is to grab that radio. On this fateful sunny Saturday in 2005, I grabbed the radio first and put it on Triple J.

I remember it being a Saturday as it was just he and I at work and we were pouring a small crossover. Triple J announced that they were premiering a song by an Australian supergroup called ‘The Wrights’. This supergroup consisted of members from The Living End, Grinspoon, Jet, Powderfinger and Spiderbait. I was intrigued yet hesitant. What the fuck is that going to sound like? I didn’t have to wait long before I knew.

“I got some money in my pocket,

I got the car keys in my hand.

I got myself a couple of tickets,

to see a rock'n rollin' band...”

Well, that’s Nic Cester from Jet singing and It was definitely rock ‘n’ roll. I liked it, It was fun. The song continues for another 3 minutes or so, ending with a wall of distortion and a massive scream. Well shit, that’s a great song! I thought to myself. But then a piano fades in...

Strings enter adding to the drama.

“Evie.

There seems so much to say...”

Wait, what? The song is still going!

It was also a different person singing.

It took me a few lines to pick it. It was Bernard Fanning of Powderfinger.

This section of the song was a ballad, polar opposite to the previous 4 minutes. It stayed minimal. A piano, Strings and Fanning’s voice. That’s it. The crescendos towards the end gave me chills. The song ends with a linger, leaving you filled with melancholy. Then out of nowhere, that ascending riff enters.

The third and final part is another rock ‘n’ roll extravaganza, not dissimilar to the first. Once again, the vocalist was someone new. This one I could pick a little quicker. It was Phil Jameson from Grinspoon.

His voice gave the song some attitude, some gruff for lack of a better word. I’ve always liked Phil’s voice, controversial I know. It just oozes rock for me. I was a fan of this song, completing the trinity.

For some reason, it didn’t click until part three, but my dad had been singing along for all three sections.

“How do you know the words?”

He looked at me with a surprised look on his face.

“This song is called Evie. They rarely play all three parts on the radio back to back.”

How the hell did he know all of that? It was a premiere!

“That was a cover. The original was by a guy named Stevie Wright!”

The Wrights... got it. Smart name.

Dad quite enjoyed their version, claiming it was close to the original. I hadn’t heard the original. I hadn’t even heard of Stevie Wright at that point. We started talking about all kinds of music. I hadn’t joined a band at this point, so I assume dad didn’t even know that I was deep into music. We spoke about mainly old stuff, The Doors, Black Sabbath, Genesis. He wasn’t really into any of that (except The Doors) but we would find common artists that we both enjoyed. It was nice to be able to talk passionately about something I loved with him, that wasn’t Football (Soccer for the uneducated).

A few years later I was at home bored. As you do, I sat on the couch flicking through the channels. I stumbled on an ad on the ABC. The footage of a band who looked similar to the Beatles (but clearly wasn’t) had caught my attention. The ad was for a documentary called “Friday On My Mind: The Easybeats story”. I set my Foxtel to record the documentary. For those of you who do not know The Easybeats, please go search them up. They’re not only an incredible band, but they’re one of the biggest and influential musical acts to come from Australia. They were 5 immigrants who became Australia’s biggest success story. For the sake of this story though, you only need to know one thing. Their singer was Stevie Wright.

I was not only astonished by The Easybeats but once again Stevie Wrights solo magnus opus Evie, had entered back into my life. You best believe I downloaded his version and wouldn’t you know it, it was brilliant. Stevie's voice is captivating. You can hear the love and pain in his voice through all three parts. I fell in love with The Easybeats, and with Stevie as well. After the fall of The Easybeats, Stevie couldn’t quite regain his stardom until he reunited with two of his former bandmates, Vanda & Young. They were the two primary songwriters in The Easybeats and became two of Australia’s best songwriters after the demise of the band. They wrote and produced a single on his debut solo album, Evie. Evie became the only 11-minute song to chart number 1 anywhere in the world, once again pushing Stevie Wright back to where he belonged.

Stevie’s life would take a few bad turns after this. He became addicted to heroin and alcohol and received a very controversial treatment called 'Deep Sleep Therapy'. This is where they induced you into a drug-induced coma and administer electroshock therapy. He was left with brain damage and other long-lasting effects.

His story and the story of The Easybeats left a lasting impression on me and the song Evie had started it all. The song represents a lot of things to me personally. The story of immigrants succeeding against all odds. The story of a man reclaiming his life. The story of falling in love (Part 1) being in love (Part 2) and the death of that loved one (Part 3). It also represents one of the first times, outside of Football that dad and I connected over something.

On the 6th of November, 2014, my daughter was born. Evie Harper Ielasi.

The song Evie now has a new meaning...

and a new fan.

A Fallen Prophet

---

Usually there is a photo of a CD, a vinyl, a ticket or some form of memrobilia placed here. Considering who I am writing about, I decided not to post any of their stuff.

---

"To every broken heart in here

Love was once a part, but now it's disappeared."

It was a bright morning. The sky was clear and the suns rays were starting to cover the earth. I anxiously opened up the twitter app, nothing.

I need to know what has happened.

I refresh it. Nothing...

I frantically keep refreshing my timeline. Then I finally see the tweet I’ve been waiting for.

My heart dropped. It simply read...

“Thank fuck for that...”

To explain what this tweet means we need to go back to the summer of Jan 2004.

---

If you may recall in a previous blog, in January of 2004 I was staying with my good friend Steve at his dad’s place in Renmark. We were a month away from attending our first-ever Big Day Out, and we spent this week at his dad’s house trashing Steve’s Big Day Out compilation CD. One of our favourite tracks was a song on the CD was ‘Burn, Burn’ by Welsh rockers Lostprophets. I can’t be certain if I knew this song or band beforehand or not, but I do remember us both loving the song and them being high on our list of “must-see” acts for the upcoming festival. ‘Burn, Burn’ was an anthem. As an angsty teenager, the refrain “Burn Burn for us, for them, for you” was a call to arms. It filled me with that kind of rebellious confidence that certain political songs can do.

LP was amazing at BDO, although their set was fraught with technical difficulties. The drummers kick pedal broke and the bassist... THE BASSIST... broke a string. Still, their set was high energy. Ian Watkins was a great frontman. He sang brilliantly and joked about how shit they were with their broken instruments and all. The band were amazing and didn’t let the technical difficulties get in their way, although you could see in their faces they were frustrated. I was smitten for the band. I bought their tee from the merch desk, one of only 5 band tees I’ve ever bought. They shot up to the top of my list as one of my favourite bands.

Once back in Mt. Gambier, I bought their sophomore album Start Something. At that point of in my life, that album had everything I wanted musically. It was Nu-metal but with some pop sensibility. Every song was an absolute banger. I started to idolise them in a way. I started to change the way I dressed to match their fashion choices. That album meant the world to me. It was a mainstay through all my troubled times of 2004 and then again through my bitter loneliness of 2005. My music tastes changed through these years, but they were always on my iPod. I was eagerly awaiting their next album and that dropped in 2006.

Liberation Transmission is one of the greatest rock/Alt.rock albums ever made. I adore this album. I remember staying up late to watch channel V premiere their new single 'Rooftops'. Another anthemic call to arms type rock song. On this album, they toyed with pop melodies against rock songs. Every song is catchy yet the band are rocking the fuck out. Take the first track 'Everyday Combat' It starts with this killer, balls to the wall drum fill. Noise and feedback fill the speakers as the drums smash out a high-intensity punk rock pattern. The high energy, pull off riff enters only to be cut with a quick break. The band enter as one with Ian screaming. They were not fucking around on this album. I’d quickly learnt that my favourite drummer (Josh Freese) had recorded the drums for this record as they had yet to replace their drummer. The replacement had been chosen by the time the record had finished. A little known drummer at the time was given the sticks, his name is Ilan Rubin. In 2006 I was in my first band playing original tunes. We’d cover We Still Kill The Old Way off Start Something, and the album Liberation Transmission became a regular listen and a benchmark somewhat, of great songwriting. Some of the vocal harmonies on this album are outstanding, the song Can’t Catch Tomorrow (Good shoes won’t save you this time) instantly comes to mind. It’s an impeccable album from, at the time, an impeccable band. To say I lived off this album is an understatement. I probably drove my friends crazy with it, as it was constantly on in my car.

My obsession continued on their next release The Betrayed. A grittier release sonically, yet they still kept those stadium hooks. The lyrical content was also darker, with more apocalyptic themes throughout. The song 'Dstryr/Dstryr' is their most punky, bombastic song to date. 'It's The End Not The Of World, But I Can See It From Here' is another perfect rock anthem. 'A Better Nothing' is yet another poptastic rock song, showing Ian can still bring the hooks. This album solidified them as a “can’t do no wrong” band for me. It’s also the first, and only full-length Ilan Rubin would drum on before leaving to join NIN. I admired Ian Watkins to be quite frank. He with Brandon Boyd became my heroes. Watkins had it all. Great singer, massively successful band, a good looking bloke with a fashion sense that I also admired. He was who I wanted to be, in a band I wanted to be in. I followed him daily on twitter around this time too, he was hilarious. Embarrassingly, I took a photo of him into a hairdresser to get my hair cut similar to his. I missed their short tour so Australia in 2010 as I was going to America the week of the shows. So desperate to go, I seriously considered moving flights around as I was going to be in Sydney that day anyway, but I came to my wits.

Their next and last release, Weapons is probably their weakest, but I was still a fan. The album was much slicker than The Betrayed but showed a decline in their songwriting. Songs like 'Bring ‘em Down', 'We Bring An Arsenal' and 'Jesus Walks' however were standouts and brilliant songs. Before this release, they came down under to play the Soundwave Festivals in 2012 and the Adelaide leg was on my birthday. I was so excited. This would be the first time since 2004 that I had seen them and there was no way I was missing them.

As it approached the day of the festival it was announced that they’d be doing a signing at the signing tent. I have only ever gonna up to a musician and asked for an autograph once in my life. I’m not the type to chase and hunt down musicians (unlike my partner!) but I wasn’t going to pass this up. I decided I’d take the booklet of my favourite album of theirs, Liberation Transmission to get signed. They played early in the day, the sun was out and it was hot (like EVERY Soundwave). I stood there only a few rows back from the barricade, drink in hand and one of my best mates next to me. They walked on stage and straight-up played 'Burn, Burn'. Get fucked. As if you open with such a massive song. Ian Watkins was wearing white jeans with a denim vest.

Well, I guess I better source some white jeans then I thought to myself. They were brilliant. Ian’s voice was a bit wavy in some parts, but I’ve never cared too much about that sort of thing. If vocalists still go hard then I’m happy. That said he hit most of his notes still, but you could tell they were a few shows in. They played with heaps of energy and their new drummer (Luke Johnson) was a BEAST. The set was short but full of all their hits. I was happy. they were due to be in the signing tent later in the arvo when luckily there were no bands I wanted to watch. I left my friends and went and lined up. The queue was pretty long, but I was assured by a volunteer that I was gonna get in. I waited patiently and slowly crept forward. About 10 or so minutes had passed and I was probably 20 or so people from the front of the line. I could see them sitting at the table. I grabbed the booklet out of my back pocket with my ticket (I collect all my concert tickets). I was in my little world because when I looked up, I saw another volunteer standing in front of me looking at me with her hand out.

“Sorry, what was that? I didn’t hear you!”

“Do you have your ticket?”

What ticket? I thought to myself...

I confusingly looked at her.

“My Soundwave ticket?”

“No. Your ticket for the signing tent...”

I was even more confused...

“No...? I didn’t know I needed to buy a ticket?”

You needed to go in another line to buy a ticket to go into the signing tent. It was a donation to a charity or something.

“Sorry but you can’t go in and this just sold out”

I was furious. I looked up to see a sign which was maybe A3 in size stating you needed to buy a ticket first. How the fuck anyone was meant to see that was beyond me. I left the lineup devastated. Heaps of people were leaving the lineup as the volunteer started to realise most of the line didn’t have a ticket. I was somewhat vindicated later that night in town as I’d run into the guitarist Mike Lewis at the Rosemont. He was watching his favourite football team Everton play. I quickly said hi and complimented him on their set. He politely thanked me for watching and kind of slide down against the wall. I’m assuming I was one of the first to notice him and he didn’t want to get noticed so he could watch the game in peace.

Fast forward to the end of 2012. I opened up Twitter to check out what’s happening and my timeline was filled with Ian Watkins. I click on one of the links to find out he had been charged with sexual assault.

Jesus Christ.

I couldn’t wrap my head around it. He was an attractive man. Why would he sexually assault a woman? Surely it’s a misunderstanding.

A day or so later it comes out that it was with a minor. Once again, I didn’t want to believe it. Not that I didn’t want to believe it, more that I couldn’t believe it. Maybe a teenager lied about her age? I thought. I had some friends posting about him saying they hope he burns in hell. I’ve always waited for the trial in any case and told my friends I would do the same.

Then the most vitriolic part of the story was released...

I’m not going to write it. If you don’t know the story, a quick google search will tell you.

I was in shock. He denied the charges which made things more confusing. Was he set up? Is it some kind of shakedown? The trial date was set for November 2013. For that year leading up to the trial, I didn’t know what to think. The crimes he was charged with were horrid, fucking disgusting. Surely there’s a mistake though I kept thinking. I never once defended him but I did tell friends that I’ll reserve my judgement for once the trial was done. I didn’t do this because I thought he was innocent or that the crimes were silly little things. I truly believe that judgement should wait for the legal process to finish. Then the day of the trial arrived.

November 26, 2013.

It was a bright morning. The sky was clear and the suns rays were starting to cover the earth. I anxiously opened up the twitter app, nothing. I need to know what has happened. I refresh it. Nothing... I frantically keep refreshing my timeline. Then I finally see the tweet I’ve been waiting for.

My heart dropped. It simply read...

“Thank fuck for that...”

Lee Gaze the guitarist of Lostprophets was the author of the tweet. Then the news outlets started trickling the news. Ian Watkins changed his plea to Guilty, removing the process of a trial. Gaze was glad there wasn’t going to be a month of trials, with evidence and all the details being excruciatingly made public.

It’s true, the whole thing was true. My (ex)idol was a convicted paedophile.

I must clear something up. My thought process of thinking “this can’t be right. It must be a mistake, a shakedown/setup” etc. did not come from a defensive view. It came from confusion. I full-heartedly believe that if someone is making an accusation they should be taken seriously and it should be fully investigated, no matter who the accused is. The opposite is also true, in that the accused must go to trial with the viewpoint of being innocent. The legal system we have only works if both these viewpoints exist at the same time. My line of thought, unfortunately, is a knee jerk reaction that many people have and it’s troublesome. It undermines the victim's accusations even if in my case, it comes from a place of confusion. As I mentioned, I never defended him. I’m hoping me sharing my thoughts and why they can be problematic, may help some others realise that they are troublesome. I’m not saying believe everything you read, but if a victim is brave enough to step forward, their story should be heard/investigated before any judgement on either party takes place.

This blog is based on the music that soundtracks my memories and a lot of those memories are intertwined with this band. I’ve performed their songs, I’ve sung their songs with friends on road trips, I’ve listened to them in depths of loneliness, I’ve celebrated their career, I mimicked their fashion sense for fuck sake. I love this band.

I loved this band.

I didn’t listen to them for a while after that day, a year or more at least, but I kept getting pulled back. This is a band that soundtracked so many good memories and he had nothing to do with those memories, so why should I let that prick ruin the music? I completely understand if people burn their CDs, their bassist Stuart Richardson smashed his gold record he received for Liberation Transmission. He deserves all the vitriol that people write about him.

Some days I can manage to separate the man from the music, but some days I can’t. I still struggle to let go of the band that I so dearly loved. My time idolising this band are done, but I for one, can’t shake the music. It’s a sad story but not because I lost an idol. There are real victims in this story who are not me. The other members lost their careers and legacy, his family lost a son and most importantly, the actual victims themselves have had their lives changed forever.

---

One year passes, it’s May 2014. I open up Facebook to see the former member of Lostprophets on my timeline.

“Ex-Lostprophets members announce new band No Devotion”

Hesitantly, I click on the link. It turns out they’ve formed a new band with Geoff Rickley from Thursday as their singer. What an odd choice I thought to myself. I continue reading and it’s revealed that they believe their new sound sits somewhere in between Joy Division and New Order. Well shit, that sounds interesting.

No Devotion’s debut album ‘Permanence’ is incredible. The description I read that day is pretty damn close. It’s very moody and has those dark, atmospheric electronic elements that New Order made famous. There’s post-punk, there’s shimmering light and there are gloomy skies. Geoff’s voice is frail yet powerful. It fits the sombre mood of the record exquisitely. He went through addiction and his long time partner left him. He wrote about loss and making it through the lows life can throw at you, something the other members knew about all too well. The album was received well critically too, making a heap of people’s best-of lists for the year and they won the 2016 Kerrang! award for best album. It ended up being one of my favourite albums of that year and of all time. Geoff spoke in interviews that the guys had their lives ruined and deserved a second chance at reclaiming their careers. This album was a brilliant start.

I wish I could say this had a happy ending but it seems they have some form of bad luck.

No Devotion was signed to Collect Records, a label founded by Geoff Rickley. In 2015 Martin Shkreli became the most hated man in the world. Who’s he you ask? The billionaire founder/CEO of Turing Pharmaceutical. You may know him as the guy who bought the manufacturing rights to an AIDS drug and raised the price from $13 USD to $750 USD per pill. It was made public that he was the silent investor in Collect Records. Subsequently, the bands signed to the label started publicly saying they were leaving the label and without their billionaire investor, they couldn’t keep going. Geoff rightfully shut the label down. Although No Devotion has recorded songs for the next album, they’re all busy trying to pay their bills and will hopefully find the time and money to finish and release their follow up. Until then, we have this beautiful album that I urge you all to find and listen too.

"And there ain't nothing I can do to make you stay with me always

And we'll drink to forget that you're not the one"

Stay - No Devotion